To lead, start by knowing yourself – life and jobs skills coach targets women with new book

Life coach Tracy Houston has just finished a book in which she describes as her lifes work. In the following interview, Houston explains how Leading By Belonging: A Pathway to Knowing Yourself, will help women get ahead by slowing down. Houston, who works out of her Lakewood home, says she has accumulated the material for her book during a lifetime of leadership positions and personal growth. The 126-page guided journal is published by iUniversal Inc. and retails for 23.95.

By Stacey Denson, For the Camera

http://www.dailycamera.com/bdc/local_news/article/0,1713,BDC_2418_3240951,00.html

What were your influences in creating this model?

Ive been in leadership since I was a child and saw needs that women had that werent being met.

What influenced you to explore a connection between self-care, stress management, and the work place?

When you do self-reflection and create self-awareness, you get in touch with yourself, your level of authenticity increases and because of that, you are more centered. The whole idea of knowing yourself more deeply is to provide a competitive advantage. The most successful companies are ones in which the leaders have a greater understanding of themselves. When you dont know yourself, you dont know your limitations or your strengths. And today, the key economic resource is people.

Why have you chosen to work specifically with women?

In my process of doing research for the book, it became clear that there were different needs that arose for women than for men. Secondly, we are now 40 years into the evolution of the womens rights movement and are realizing that the victim-type behavior that emerged from that era has exhausted itself. We are moving into a time where shared strengths are more important. You lose position when playing a victim role. You gain position when you know who you are. Women have a problem with power, but as you get to know yourself, your authenticity and your genuine strengths, the more effective you can be in implementing your skills in order to make an impact.

Why is self-reflection important to success in the work place?

Leaders need followers. You have to ask yourself why should people follow me. This question is sobering because without self-reflection, centeredness and the ability to value yourself, you cannot influence other people or at least it inhibits your ability to do so. I read a study recently that says that men bring three balls to work and women bring 12. There is absolutely no way that we are going to accomplish what we say we want, by doing that.

You stress the importance of presence. How does one acquire this quality?

By being quiet. Our lives are just go, go, go, and in order to have self-awareness and to be introspective you have to have quiet. You become more balanced, and other people sense this and your ability to lead is then enhanced.

How do you suggest people move beyond the daily obsession of what you call doingness?

You have to value yourself. When a women is juggling 12 balls, her focus is external and divided. What I ask, is to do just the opposite, and go inside.

Do you think that these qualities can be marketable?

It wont be in the traditional manner. People need to understand this is a process. When you are around someone you can tell if they are fake and plasticy. You can also recognize people who have spent time dealing with themselves, who are real and grounded. And those are the kind of people that others gravitate towards.

What is a living legacy?

Its about how you live each day of your life. The more purposeful and focused you are, the more self-aware you are, the more you can make a legacy out of your life. People are born with certain strengths. Its the way you will make an impact, what you will leave the in world.

How does defining your legacy help progress your cause in the world?

Well, where you are going to have an impact is where you feel most vital and feel most passionate. People are looking now to merge those two things. When people find this, they take steps forward in their lives and feel more satisfaction at work.

What are some key points that you try to remind yourself of every day?

That there is an answer to every challenge. I tell myself that what I say is of value. And being quiet, because that is a challenge when I get busy.

What does a balanced life mean to you?

It means knowing how to value yourself and doing those self-care things before picking up the 12 balls.

What is it that you most want to tell the world?

I think that this is a time that we really need to be purposeful. Our world is becoming more and more complex, and in order to be purposeful and move forward in life you really need to know yourself and gain strength from that.