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"Leading Through Conflict" Moving Beyond Debate: Start a Dialogue

We’re often surrounded by polarizing debates. Here’s what influential leaders know: Dialogue doesn’t seek closure as debates do, but rather discovers new options. An excerpt from Leading Through Conflict by professional mediator Mark Gerzon.

As I worked in more than a hundred organizations or communities over the past decade, I kept track of which form of discourse my clients most often wanted. They did not want more speeches and presentations. They did not want more debates between two know-­it-­alls, each of whom was sure they were right and the other person was wrong. They did not want yet another "exchange of views" that skirted difficult issues and papered over problems. What they yearned for was deep, honest, inclusive, and respectful dialogue.

Dialogue is designed for situations in which people have fundamentally different frames of reference (also called worldviews, belief systems, mindsets, or "mental models"). "Ordinary conversation presupposes shared frameworks," says Daniel Yankelovich, who has been a pioneer in analyzing public opinion for the past quarter century.1 Dialogue makes just the opposite assumption: It assumes that the participants have different frameworks. The purpose of dialogue is to create communication across the border that separates them. It is a way of conversing that:

Full Story: http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item.jhtml?id=5351&t=leadership

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