JADEPUFFER — the first publicly documented ransomware operation executed end-to-end by an AI agent.

According to Sysdig Threat Research, the AI drove the whole intrusion: reconnaissance, exploitation, lateral movement, and extortion. It fixed its own failed attacks in 31 seconds, fired off 600+ payloads, and encrypted 1,342 database records — yet it also narrated its crimes in plain English and demanded ransom to a hallucinated Bitcoin address. Fast AND flawed: an amateur hacker operating at machine speed.

Sherri and Matt trace how we got here — from PromptLock to criminal “vibe hacking” — and what machine-speed adversaries mean for your incident response, your threat model, and your Monday-morning to-do list.

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