What God’s gift to world writes in a resume

‘I am the person you’ve been waiting for’ — Oh, yeah?

"I’ve lived a clean life with no legal problems. My wardrobe is stylish without being
ostentatious. While other people have skeletons in their closets, mine are
empty."

By MAX MESSMER
SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE Seattle PI

So, where do you keep your stylish wardrobe?

The above job-seeker devoted four pages to his cover letter and just one to his
resume. The average hiring manager isn’t likely to make it past page two. Cover
letters, like resumes, should be brief and relevant. Here is an example of an
applicant who failed to heed this advice:

"When it comes to health and vitality, I am a walking ad for healthy living. I can’t
remember the last time I took a sick day because I have a formal budget for
vitamins and organically grown foods. In other words, I am as healthy as a horse."

Now that we’ve got that covered….

"I prefer informality, like wearing sport shirts and shorts, and sandals. I prefer
setting my own pace. When things get tense, I need the right to walk out and get
a haircut any time I want during working hours."

The sharp-tressed man.

COVER LETTER: "My resume speaks for itself — you’ll no doubt be impressed
with its long list of accomplishments, not to mention its stationary."

Actually, I’m afraid it’s moving rapidly toward the "no" pile.

COVER LETTER: "I am the person you’ve been waiting for — the one who’s gonna
make you look good. But you won’t realize it until you give me the chance to
prove it."

What we don’t know won’t hurt us.

COVER LETTER: "Hire me and you won’t regret it — I am funny, cute, smart and
creative … really."

Oh, we have no doubt.

COVER LETTER: "I dislike routine, ultraconservative or defensive thinking,
unnecessary jobs, inefficient systems and politicians."

Noted.

And, finally, a marketing idea that just might work:

"If you grant me an interview, I will give you one of the pewter mugs I make in my
spare time."

Max Messmer is chairman and chief executive officer of Robert Half International
Inc., a specialized staffing firm, and author of "Job Hunting For Dummies." For
more Resumania, please visit http://www.resumania.com.)

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/80206_resumania29.shtml