Best game in town: Luring Letterman

It’s more than a nod to David Letterman, it’s a blatant come hither.

It’s no secret the Great Falls White Sox would love to have Montana’s only beloved New Yorker, an avid baseball fan, spend some time in Legion Park.

http://www.greatfallstribune.com/news/stories/20040905/localnews/1181542.html

The team’s general manager, Jim Keough, recently sent Letterman a package that contained a "Top Ten" list of reasons he should attend a game. The list was penned by home game announcer Michael Purpura.

The Tribune mentioned a few in a Down on the Farm column at the time, but with the playoffs approaching and no word from the Letterman camp, we thought we might bait the hook one more time and publish the whole list.

Here, compliments of Keough’s crew, are the top 10 reasons David Letterman should attend a Great Falls White Sox game:

10. All the Rocky Mountain oysters you can eat.

9. Only half the players use steroids.

8. Same quality of play, but cheaper than watching the Mets.

7. In Montana, losing team gets branded.

6. Every other home game is "Beat the Mascot Night."

5. Cheap beer.

4. Even Bored Bush Boy stays awake for the game.

3. There is no chance baseball commissioner Bud Selig will be at the game.

2. The sheep feel safe.

1. What else is there to do in Great Falls, Mont.?

And hey, Dave, if that’s not enough incentive, here are 10 more reasons Tribune staffers compiled:

10. Homerun Dogs certified heartburn-free when taken in combination with seventh-inning stogie.

9. Willy Windee agreed to change his name to Willy Harry.

8. Not only are there changing tables in the men’s restrooms, they’re high enough to accommodate guys with Lanky Dad Syndrome.

7. Guaranteed anonymity: Everyone will think you’re local lookalike Richard Baker.

6. Willy’s new "Stupid Mascot Tricks."

5. Sox management promises to reserve a bat boy slot in 2017 for you-know-who.

4. Sox management promises to reserve wheelchair spot in 2017 for you-know-who’s dad.

3. "Free Binky Night."

2. Keough agrees to send Mike Purpura to New York to be tossed into the "Will It Float?" tank.

And the No. 1 reason David Letterman should attend a Great Falls White Sox game:

1. In Montana, paparazzi means "Leave the guy alone and let him enjoy the game."

— Kathleen A. Schultz and pals