Pick peers who motivate you-What matters most is how you have progressed

"Youth is impatient," my father, an entrepreneur himself, continually reminds me after I tell him that I want more entrepreneurial success than I have so far had. Of course, we have different ideas of the definition of "youth," even though I turned 30 last week.

By Eric Farr
Brigham Young University -Deseret News

I took my first stab at entrepreneurship when I was 16. The small company I started grew fairly quickly, and, while it wouldn’t be anything a seasoned entrepreneur would write home about, it kept me busy and paid the bills through college.

"Not bad for a 16-year-old," I thought.

And so I set goals — including some lofty ones — for what I wanted to accomplish entrepreneurially by the time I was 30. Which is why this year, amid worries about my graying hair, my slowing metabolism and the random pains I am starting to feel throughout my body, I had to take inventory of my professional life. When one is young and setting goals for entrepreneurial success, 30 seems to be the right age for retirement.

The journey to age 30 didn’t take nearly as long as I expected. And the goals? Well, as I said, they were lofty goals, and I didn’t quite achieve all that I had hoped. I was lamenting this fact to a very good friend, Paul Hansen. We laughed at how I was comparing my place in a capitalistic society to that of other entrepreneurs — and finding myself coming up just a little short of mediocrity.

While I understand that comparing one’s success with someone else’s is typically an unfruitful experience, I find myself doing it on occasion. Maybe you find yourself doing the same thing once in a while. Paul reminded me of something that I’ve thought about a lot since then. He said that as I have progressed through my professional life my peer group has changed. As I make accomplishments it gives me opportunities to associate with a new group of "accomplished" peers, and thus my standard for comparison increases. If I choose to make comparisons, then I am likely comparing myself to others who have accomplished more than I. Therefore, I will always find that in comparison I am nothing but mediocre.

For example, I have a friend who has created a successful business. In comparison, I feel I haven’t yet reached his level. He, on the other hand, is very active in the Young Entrepreneurs’ Organization and often feels inadequate relative to some of the peers he associates with there. My friend does not choose to compare himself to me, instead he compares himself to his peers within his more successful peer group.

Similarly, a Harvard MBA may initially compare himself to his classmates. However, if he becomes a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, then he will likely begin to compare himself to other Fortune 500 CEOs. Relative to his classmates he is doing extremely well, but relative to his new peer group he is just mediocre (even though he is 1 of 500 in the whole country).

Think about this the next time you are feeling mediocre in comparison to others. Remember what really matters is how you have progressed personally, not how you compare to others. If you have chosen your peer group wisely, you will likely be just mediocre by comparison. That means you are associating with those who can not only inspire you to be better, but also those who can ultimately help you achieve those lofty entrepreneurial goals you have set.

Eric Farr is a graduate of The Wharton School and of Brigham Young University, where he participated in the student club sponsored by the Center for Entrepreneurship. He can be reached via e-mail at [email protected].

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