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Parenting skills can help in managing workers

Do you have co-workers who eye one another jealously? How about
a boss who favors one person over another? Maybe employees who play
managers off one another to get what they want?

By L.M. SIXEL
HOUSTON CHRONICLE

You may think those behaviors are some sort of typical work dysfunction. But
really, it all comes down to the basic behaviors we learned at home getting along
with our parents and siblings.

And according to one of the authors of "Parenting the Office," bosses who
manage their children well can also manage their employees well.

Jealous co-workers? Think sibling rivalry.

Managers who get caught in the squeeze play? That’s a slightly more
sophisticated version of learning to ask the parent who will say yes.

When you try to solve conflicts at work, think about how you’d handle the same
conflict at home, suggests Douglas Davidoff, who wrote the book with his brother
Donald and parents, Doris and Philip.

Squawking co-workers? How do you handle your kids who scream, "Mom, why
did Benjamin get the red one?" Or, "You like Charlotte best because she got the
blue one. You know I love blue."

Do you sit down and try to see it from their viewpoint? Maybe have a little chat
about how they feel?

If so, you’re probably a great parent. And a great manager.

The rivalry isn’t bad, Davidoff said. Managers may see it as childish behavior, but
it’s human behavior. And the trick is how you handle it.

Davidoff recalled a time when he rearranged desks at a consulting firm where he
was in charge of business development. He was unhappy with the performance of
an employee and wanted to keep a closer eye on the worker.

But suddenly another employee became upset, and it turned out that the stellar
employee saw his co-worker’s move as a perk.

He thought moving closer to the boss was a reward, said Davidoff. It all comes
down to looking at a situation through the eyes of someone else.

Or say you have a burned-out employee — someone who’s very good but has
done it all. He’s bored, overly cynical and has lost a lot of passion.

Does that sound a lot like a teenager? Handling a burned-out employee and a
teenager is very similar, said Davidoff.

Find out what’s bothering him, he suggested. See the situation from his
perspective. Look for opportunities to give him more responsibility.

For example, ask the employee who hasn’t shown much sign of being on the
team to run the next staff meeting. Mention that co-workers are really impressed
with his knowledge and respect him greatly.

Preparing for the meeting and running it means he’ll have to get along better, said
Davidoff. And he’ll see the rewards of doing so.

Retired Shell Oil Co. human resource executive Kirk Blackard has written a new
book, "Capitalizing on Conflict: Strategies and Practices for Turning Conflict to
Synergy in Organizations."

Blackard comes from the point of view that most organizational conflict is caused
by management.

Too often, managers don’t show enough respect to employees; they don’t listen
well; they don’t involve employees in decisions to the extent they should, and
they don’t recognize that employees know more than management, said
Blackard, who is a mediator in Houston.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/74721_jealousy17.shtml

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