Be Your Most Constructive Critic

Most people tend to be their own worst critic. But it
doesn’t pay to always criticize yourself. Criticizing
yourself is not necessarily going to improve or change
the situation. Instead, change the way you talk to
yourself and think about yourself in order to work
better with employees, power partners and customers.

by Vicki Gerson

Here are some tips on how to coach yourself.

Be encouraging. Most people talk to themselves
silently. The trouble is, people tend to do it more
frequently when something goes wrong or when they have
negative thoughts.

Like most people, when something goes wrong or you
make a mistake, you really say negative things to
yourself. "How could I be so stupid? I wasted an hour
trying to figure this out. This was valuable time I
needed to work on a project with my national sales
manager."

All you are doing is replaying a negative scene again
and again. If you catch yourself talking negatively
about yourself, change the message. "Oh well, we all
make mistakes, and I won’t make this one again."
Another message could be: "I’m not perfect, but nobody
is. It could have been a lot worse."

Look on the bright side. Some business owners tend to
look on the dark side. They always expect the worst.
For example, when they don’t get a contract they say:
"I knew I wasn’t going to get that contract. The
competition was too stiff. Someone was bound to under
bid me."

A more positive message would be: "I’m going to see if
I can find the real reason I didn’t get the contract.
This way, I’m sure to do a better job of bidding the
next one."

Be aware of your inner conversation that is becoming
negative. The moment you hear your inner voice speaking
negatively, stop it. Negative dialogue can be stopped
by saying the following to yourself. "Oh no, I’m doing
it again. I’m going to stop that."

Self-talk can affect your behavior. If you are feeling
negative, you may speak in a monotone or a very soft
voice. In addition, it even affects the way you look.
People who are "down on themselves" don’t always walk
with good posture and their facial expressions are
tense or in a frown. Your negative behavior will have
an effect on your employees and customers. The
employees will assume something bad is about to happen
or has happened. Meanwhile, customers will not want to
do business with a gloom-and-doom person.

When you develop positive self-talking methods through
self coaching, your confidence level also rises. This
results in a more positive outlook on business in
general as well as more creative ways to conduct your
business.

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