Managing Telling Tension

Your ability to manage Telling Tension can have a more positive impact on your career than any other single skill. Telling Tension is the compelling desire to talk. (Memorize this definition.) It occurs whenever someone feels strong emotions; the stronger the emotion, the more compelling the desire to express it. This need to talk is like walking with a sharp rock in your shoe. It’s hard to think of anything else until you get rid of it!

by Conrad Elnes
Chairman, STI International SalesVantage.com

When either you or a customer feels a high degree of Telling Tension, a condition called LO/LO sets in; LO/LO stands for Lock On/Lock Out1. Since the human mind cannot think two thoughts simultaneously, it "Locks On" to its own thought and "Locks Out" other ideas. In highly emotional situations, the “Lock-Out” can prevent both you and your customers from hearing each other’s point-view.

Your skill at managing Telling Tension will help you and your customers remain mutually receptive. To manage it, you must bridle your own Telling Tension and listen as customers talk about something important to them. As they express themselves, their Telling Tension will diminish rapidly; leaving them with an open mind and open ears. Then, it’s your turn to talk!

Causes of Telling Tension

You will encounter five common causes:

1. anger or disagreement

2. defensiveness

3. enthusiasm

4. questions

5. silence

Those who feel anger or disagreement will often cut the speaker off in order to express their own ideas. Anger reduces receptivity to zero.

Another cause of Telling Tension is defensiveness. When customers complain or object, you may feel you cannot let it go unchallenged. You’re likely to try to "overcome" it by talking louder and faster. Those who complain or object usually have high Telling Tension of their trying to address their concern. Both parties Lock On to their own points of view and Lock Out new information from the other.

Your enthusiasm to describe a problem solution is the third major cause. Unless you’ve asked enough questions to describe a workable solution, customers may become bored and turn you off.

The fourth cause, questions, is doubly dangerous. When customers ask questions, it is nearly impossible not to respond quickly, because the questions drive up your Telling Tension. Since about 70 percent of customer questions have a hidden meaning – that is they are loaded – providing correct information is not the right response.

Finally, an extended period of silence is certain to drive up your desire to talk. For instance, when you ask for a commitment and customers remain silent as they consider whether or not to agree, you may feel compelled to say something within a few brief seconds. If you break the silence, you are likely to lose the commitment.

The questions you ask also drive up Telling Tension in others.

Telling Tension is neither good nor bad. Since it is a recurring factor in every service event, you must monitor and man age it constantly.

Symptoms of Telling Tension

Let’s examine some obvious symptoms that can help you recognize high Telling Tension in customers and yourself. The most obvious symptom is talking. Whoever is talking at a given moment feels the highest level of Telling Tension. If they say something that excites their partner’s need to talk, the partner may interrupt or raise their hand or clear their throat or finish the speaker’s sentence.

Spoken objections and complaints are two additional signals that a customer feels high Telling Tension. Also, those who express a strong bias such as "I’d never buy a foreign car!" are likely to feel a strong desire to express the rest of their opinion.

In addition to these obvious signals, prospects may use more subtle means. For example, while you are talking, a customer may shift from leaning back in a chair to forward, in order to signal they’re preparing to talk. Finally, if a customer’s eyes seem to glaze over and he becomes unresponsive, you may have said something to which he or she wants to reply.

As you become more experienced and knowledgeable, it’s increasingly likely you’ll talk too much.

How Can You Exceed Customer Expectations

The four steps required to manage telling tension are:

1. Be aware of the causes and symptoms, so you can be prepared for it. Also, continuously monitor your own need to talk.

2. When you receive the customer’s signals, stop talking as quickly as possible. This may be difficult because of your own need to talk.

3. Listen responsively to the customer.

4. Avoid talking for longer than two minutes without asking a question. If customers are enthusiastic about what you’re saying, they will want to talk about it. If what you’ve said hasn’t caused enthusiasm, it is likely they are bored. Your question will help re-involve them.

Conrad Elnes, the charmain of STI International http://www.salesintitute.com is a recognized leader in the design and presentation of customized training programs for salespeople, consultants and customer service staff. STI can be reached at 800.784.1555

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