What not to say at interviews

Certainly there are tons of hard-working, dedicated, talented people who have been out of jobs for way too long. But there are a few jobless people out there who — how can we put this delicately? — would get beaten by lawn furniture in a spelling bee.

Dave Murphy San Francisco Chronicle

You want proof? Consider some of the comments below, which were made by applicants during hiring interviews. The comments were collected by Caliper, a human resources consulting firm.

Here goes:

— "What job am I applying for, anyway?"

— "My resume might make it look like I’m a job hopper. But I want you to know that I never left any of those jobs voluntarily."

— "Do you know of any companies where I could get a job I would like better than this one?"

— "I’m quitting my present job because I hate to work hard."

— "Does this tie go with this suit?"

— "I can’t see out of these glasses. Can I come back when I get my new glasses?"

— "I will definitely work harder for you than I did for my last employer."

— "I’m looking for a way to slow down and cut back on my commitments."

— "I don’t think I’m capable of doing this job, but I sure would like the money."

— "Sorry for yawning. I usually sleep until my soap operas are on." .

JOB HUNTING AND THE HOLIDAYS: All right, so you’re a lot sharper than those interviewees, right? But you’re still out of a job, and the beginning of December is staring you in the face. So, should you give up on your job hunting until after the holidays?

No, the experts say. You should keep at it. I would agree — with two big exceptions.

Obviously, you should keep hunting if your financial situation is desperate,

but even people who can get by all right should normally continue the hunt, because there will be less competition and because some successful companies might have decided to add jobs at the beginning of 2003. They could be screening candidates for those positions now.

Networking opportunities can also be better at this time of year. You certainly shouldn’t use a holiday party to push someone hard for a job, but the parties do give you an opportunity to meet people and ask an informal question or two.

Many jobs aren’t as hectic at this time of year, which might give you a better chance of meeting people at their offices, even if no jobs are available at the moment. Too many people fail at networking because they want a quick fix; it’s all about building relationships, and that takes time.

So what are the two exceptions? Family and frustration.

If job hunting depresses you so much that you’re going to ruin the holidays for yourself and your family, it isn’t worth it. But make sure you’re not using this as an excuse to procrastinate. If it just bothers you a little, keep at it.

And if you’re recently laid off and bitter about it, give yourself some grieving time first. You won’t do yourself any favors if you go into interviews with a chip on your shoulder.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2002/11/30/BU157096.DTL&type=business